Lord, Free Me from Myself

I am free from Facebook, but I am not free from myself.

Eliminating Facebook has helped to bring more clarity to my life. I did not realize how weighed down I was until I had the bonds cut loose. Yet, I have also seen in this newfound clarity, that Facebook was/is not the root of the issue. Facebook is not in and of itself evil. It can be used graciously and lovingly, but it brought out the worst in me. That sentence is very telling: it brought out the worst in me.

Facebook isn’t my problem. Sin is my problem. Facebook was merely a space in which my sinful nature rose to the fore.  Facebook exacerbated my laziness, fears, pride, jealousy, judgment, distrust and self-absorption but in a seemingly harmless guise. I got caught up in a false reality, and I did not see how sin was taking a hold of me. I needed to get rid of Facebook, but now with it gone I see that what I really need to be rid of is laziness, fears, pride, jealousy, judgment, distrust, and self-absorption.

I cannot free myself from these things. It is only by the grace of God, and Christ working through the Spirit in me that I will be made free.  Of course, that doesn’t mean I do nothing. I must continually seek the divine mystery of grace in faith. I ask for grace even in the seeking of that grace. I try to walk forward, stumbling and haltingly, but ever forward toward Christ. For my freedom will come not in deleting an online account but in pursuing an authentic relationship with God, and his Sprit is poured out on me.

Christ, live within me and vanquish my sinful nature. Thank you for your unalterable grace in which I stand as You have poured out your love on me. I want to be freed of all that keeps me from you. I want to draw near to you. Lord, free me from myself. 

Facebook Free

After four years of usage, 440 or so “friends” made, 100+ photo albums created, dozens of events hosted, and innumerable inane status updates posted, I have deactivated my Facebook. It was with much grief that I said goodbye to countless CastleVille requests, Christian Mingle side-bar ads, and the ability to wish people I wouldn’t recognize in person “happy birthday!” There is one less Scott Jackson out there on the interwebs. I am Facebook free.

Of course, there are aspects of Facebook I really do miss. I enjoyed knowing what my friends from back home are up to, and I even occasionally interacted with them beyond just stalking. I planned and went to my fair share of events. I miss the ability to share and comment on photos that hold so many fond memories. And, really, who doesn’t cherish the ability to instantly garner an audience of potentially hundreds for any thought that pops into your head?

Facebook is an incredibly powerful forum for communication and connection. Officially, over one billion people now use the online service. Facebook has become a prime symbol for globalization envisioning a world in which we all are connected. At its best, Facebook serves as a platform for creative expression, reconnection, dialogue, collective action, encouragement, organization and humor. Facebook can be an imaginative tool for interaction and sharing life together.

But it was killing me. Every time I logged onto Facebook, I felt the life slowly sucked out of me. I couldn’t handle it. Despite all the supposed and real benefits mentioned above, I ultimately concluded that on the whole Facebook was detrimental for my academic, social, emotional and spiritual health.

  Facebook is a huge time waster. Just going on for a short homework break inevitably turned into going through every new status update, creeping through peoples’ photos, or just staring blankly at the page hitting refresh.

I found myself living for that little red flag in the upper left. My self-worth became equated with the number that flag contained. All I wanted on Facebook was to be “liked.” I wanted to be loved, admired, pitied; everything was about me. I carefully crafted every comment, post, subtitle, and event in order to gain attention. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to constantly be self-seeking, but I couldn’t stop.

            Facebook brought out the worst in me. I became jealous, callous and judgmental. Sitting in my room by myself, it seemed like everyone else was out having a grand time. When others rejoiced, I did not celebrate with them. And when others suffered, I did not empathize with them. Facebook was not about caring for people but for gaining juicy new pieces of information. I passed judgment on the whole character of a person based on mere hundreds of characters posted online.

            Facebook isn’t real. It’s a game. It’s a social front. My Facebook profile was a construction of my imagination rooted in how I wanted others to perceive me and designed to hide my fears, anxieties and weaknesses.  Facebook did not reflect my story, and it hindered me from caring about other people and their story. 

For my own sanity, I needed to get rid of it. Yet, I think, Facebook can be redeemed. I think Facebook can be used to love on other people, to share the joys and sorrows in life, and to connect with people in real life. But, I think, I am probably not the only one for whom Facebook has been more life-draining than life-giving. If Facebook is a burden in your life, let it go for a time. Be set free.