I love Christmas. It is a season of profound beauty, stillness and reflection. It is a time to celebrate and rejoice. I love gathering together with family and friends, in joy, honoring each other and honoring the birth of Jesus.
But Christmas also makes me uncomfortable. Often, I shove this discomfort to the side and ignore it, but it always seems to resurface. I try to rationalize it away, but it will have none of that. This discomfort is rooted in this: My family is very wealthy. Now, I am very thankful for the opportunities this has afforded me (namely, college), but it has also fed my own consumerism. This comes to the fore every Christmas. I try to live very simply, but there is also a lot of stuff that I want, and I could get just about any of it if I ask for it for Christmas. So maybe this is the discomfort: I don't want anything, but I want a whole lot. I don't know if that makes sense, but I am struggling to express this tension within me. I hate consumerism, but it is also so easy to be consumed by it, and there certainly are dangers is asceticism. I don't want to ask for anything for Christmas, but I want a french press, new books, backpacking equipment, clothes, etc. I open up presents and am genuinely happy about all that I get, but the next day I uncomfortable with all the new stuff I have. Maybe I am just weird, but I have a hunch that there is something more at play than my own eccentricity.
Now, I am a consumer. I often become concerned with treasures on earth. And I do not necessarily advocate strict asceticism. This is not about depriving one's self. Christ offers abundant life. But I believe that the abundance of life in Christ is much different that what the world considers abundance. An abundant life is much more easily found in simplicity. I think, sadly, the church has often tried to provide a way out of the radical call of Christ. We seek to preserve comfort, but this is a trap. I understand that everyone may not be called to sell all they possess, but the reality is that a lot more of us are probably called to this than respond, and while God can accomplish all things, you still would think we wouldn't want to be a camel squeezed through the eye of a needle.
It is cliche, but simple is beautiful. Consumption, on the other hand, is a horror (though it is has a great PR team). Here's why:
- It destroys creation. We are destroying the earth. What we are to steward, we exploit. We have stripped the earth bare, clouded the skies, muddied the waters, and killed life (both now and in the future; plant, animal and human) all in our lust for more and more.
- It blinds us to creation. Not only do we destroy creation, we do not even see creation anymore. We have lost touch with nature. We are surrounded by steel and concrete. I think this has more than just aesthetic consequences. We no longer have rhythm in life. We are sanitized and shielded.
- It harms human relationships. We compete to have the nicest house and biggest bank account. We look down on those who simply have less material possession, and look with envy on those who have more. We never stop working. Stuff takes precedence over people.
- It harms ourselves. We lose sight of other people and ourselves. We work for more not knowing why more is better. We become greedy and envious. We build our identity upon stuff. We cannot be still. We cannot be happy.
- It stands in the way of God. Money, stuff, all material things are ready-made idols. Our consumption is really a consumption of our own hearts.
I want to live a life in which I cling to nothing but the love of God. I think it is fully possibly to own things without clinging on to them, being willing to release them, understanding that all is God's. I think it is fully possible to be rich, to use those the riches for good, to be willing to release all those riches if so called by God. But I also think that this is extremely difficult. I have found that the more I possess the more my possessions takes hold of me. Christ's call to not store up treasures on earth is not a restriction but a freedom. So, amid the clamor of the season and the tension within me, I will seek to listen to this call and to seek first His Kingdom. I will try to simplify not as an act of self-righteousness but so that no thing may stand between me and the God of all.
Lord, pour out your grace.
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